Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Life's Highs and Lows - Dealing with Disappointment

Well today I had planned to spend my time writing my story about the wonderful weekend i had on Pulau Aur, Malaysia, a tropical island 60km off the coast of mainland Malaysia. I learnt how to scuba dive, obtained my PADI certification and perhaps conquered my fear of the deep ocean. However, I sit here today in front of my computer reeling from the news that I am needing to sit out the Bintan Triathlon, which is on Saturday.

Whilst I was on the island, I noticed some rather strange bumps turn up on my leg. They were itchy but I was more amused at the fact that the bugs had formed a perfect oval shape bite sequence. I cursed the accommodation (thinking they were bed bugs) and made sure I took a photo of them in order to put them on the blog as a souvenir. I then continued on having a fantastic weekend with friends.

When i woke up on the monday morning, I noticed that the rash had turned into blisters (i shall save the details!). I knew that insect bites should not turn to blisters ordinarily but I did recall having some spectacular reactions to mosquito bites when I was in Thailand a couple of years ago. However, when I reached work, I was told to go to the doctor by my colleagues. Reluctantly, I headed off to the doctors hoping to get some itch cream and go on my merry way.

Two hours later, I was in bed with the knowledge that I possibly had "shingles" and that I would need to wait 24 hours in order to see how the rash progressed.

I now sit here, with "shingles" having been confirmed and I am loading my body with anti-viral medication. I am required to stay in bed for the rest of the week and I have been told that the Bintan Triathlon is a definite "no-no".

I can handle the fact that I have an infectious disease. That is fine. A week in bed probably is a good thing for me. It is the fact that I cannot do the Triathlon that has me so very disappointed. It is not as though I am some professional athlete whose career depends on it but when you commit to training up to two times a day in order to get your body ready for the event (both mentally and physically) it is beyond frustrating to have something so obscure happen that is now preventing you from reaching your goal.

It is hard to explain, and I guess only those who do these kinds of events really understand. To prepare your body mentally and to structure your life around conditioning your body to endure the physical challenge takes a lot of work - and as i said, i am not even a professional! The disappointment is just hard to get over. The thought of people celebrating having completed it, and i will be on the sidelines, hurts the most. People may think it is strange to desire that kind of pain and suffering but it gets to be an addiction... and thrill... a buzz that can't be matched... I really felt as though i was ready and prepared to do it - and do well....


....I shall put this disappointment behind me and the illness will pass. I will find another event in the short term so that I can remain on the road to bigger and better things. I shall find the positive amongst the negative, be thankful for my general health, and move on....


  1. You go girl. You are still Team Crabs hero and mine specially.

  2. Rotten luck, that. I've had Shingles. No fun at all. But for it to pop up now, after such diligent training, is truly disappointing.

    So then - only one thing to ask oneself, right? What lesson is the Universe presenting to you by popping up Shingles (specifically Shingles) at this specific point in time?

    Love ya girl! You always make me proud!