Loneliness

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Live. Singapore.

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Chasing Cars

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words,
Are said too much
They're not enough
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes
They're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things
Will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Photos

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Dont forget you can check out my more "professional" photos on Flickr, at:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/96695201@N00/

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Just something for someone....

Now I run Lyrics:

Tell me how the circle ends
There's no beginning
Everything that came before
Will come round again
And I look in the mirror
My father's eyes look back at me
He gave me a road to choose
He gave me freedom
And I pray I'm strong enough
To walk in his shoes
And I, I hope that I become
Half the man he wants me to be

Cause I feel you guiding me
Showing me the way when
I'm misdirected
I know your not here
But I feel connected

Cause everything that I am
Comes from a better man
And all that I've said I've done
Can't rewrite my history
Right there for all to see
I'm just my father's son
Taught me to walk, now I run
Now I run

Sometimes when I lose myself
In my weakness
I can feel the touch of his
unmistakable hands
And their pushing me forward
Back into the circle again
And I hope my son sees in me
The kind of man that he was to me

And everything that I am
Comes from a better man
And all that I've said I've done
Can't rewrite my history
Right there for all to see
I'm just my father's son
Taught me to walk, now I run
I run

He's the best and the worst of me
Sometimes I don't know
where my common sense is
I may be a sinner
But my best defense is

Everything that I am
Comes from a better man
And all that I've said I've done
Can't rewrite my history
Right here for all to see
I'm just my father's son
Yeah oh
I'm just my father's son
Taught me to walk
Now I run

Happy Halloween!

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Photos on Flickr

Hi all,

Just a reminder, you can see more of my photos on my Flickr account, which produces them in far better colour.

They are also big files due to the style of processing, so its very hard to upload them onto this website.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/96695201@N00/

Luv,
KOTB

The Temptation of Solitude

I have often wondered whether, if I was given the chance, would I completely isolate myself from the entire world. As a loner (to some degree), it is a temptation of mine. It would be all too easy. I could potter around on my own, with not a care in the world. Now if I didn't have such wonderful family and friends, I would probably do it but at the end of the day, I know that being alone is simply not sustainable. However, for at least the next couple of days, I am going to relish in the fact that I am now the proud resident of a one bedroom unit all to my very self.

I now have my own little place, just for a little while. And if i actually owned a cat (and if i didn't think it would be cruel), I would actually swing it, just for the heck of it. It has a lovely little loungeroom with a flat screen TV, and a separate bedroom and bathroom. Admittedly, its situated on a busy street, and I am only three floors up and not twenty eight floors up (hence the noise is much greater) but its the price I have to pay to enjoy my own place!




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Better Quality Photos

For better quality photos, please check my page out on Flickr -

http://www.flickr.com/photos/96695201@N00/

Enjoy!

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Life So Empty But Love So Full

There have been only a few occasions in my life where I have felt my heart sink to a point where it feels as though it is no longer in its rightful place. A couple of those occasions have been when I have been disappointed in myself, or disappointed in another’s behaviour. More recently though, I have found my heart sinking when I have been exposed to a world that I feel so helpless to change. As I sat across the dinner table from a 13 year old Indonesian street kid, having watched him jump up from the table, disappear for literally a minute, and then come back again, I knew that there was simply nothing I could do about his situation. Not yet a man, this child cannot control his addiction to glue sniffing. He looks into my eyes, knowing that I know. He then carries on talking with his younger brother, as if he had not a care in the world.

As he drifts off to sleep, I speak with his carer, who is now a fellow photographer. I will not identify him here on this blog for obvious reasons. As night falls and the tea flows, he tells stories of paedophilia, physical abuse and child labour, stories which he says are as common to an Indonesian child’s life as stories of Peter Pan are to my nieces. He speaks of the hope he has to make a difference in these boys’ lives, even if it is to give them shelter over their weary and putrid heads two nights a week. He knows that for the most part, these boys will steal, beg and in one child’s case, glue sniff, but he is giving them more than these boys would have had if he had not come into their lives.

I sit and hear of his story. I am sure he does not mind me writing about them here on this blog. His own stories are that of child labour. He speaks of his childhood in Cambodia. The killing fields of Pol Pot. He looks back at the time he watched his two childhood friends being beaten to death for not working hard enough, even when the shovels they were carrying were simply too heavy for them to hold. He is still traumatised but he feels that he is reversing his own story by trying to reverse others’ lives. He talks of the suspicion generated as he spends his time with these young men, stories about paedophiles who seek revenge against him by sending the authorities to investigate him for supporting child labour, all of which he vehemently claims are false.

As I go to bed, I think about just how removed I am from the reality of life in Asia. It is easy to forget when you are in Singapore, with its “stepford”-like existence. I realise that for the price of the cameras we were all holding, we could educate and feed over 100 Indonesian children for a year. I am disgusted with myself, having stayed in opulent resorts and sipped fine wine, without so much as a care in the world.

In the morning, we go to a provincial village which is said to be one of the poorest in Bali. It is at least an hour away from the crowded tourist trap that is Kuta, from the tacky kitschy shops of Nusa Dua and from the fine art galleries and festive streets of Ubud. There, young toddlers bathe in the nearby stream, as clothes being washed next to them by pre-teenage girls. Young boys round up flocks of geese, and village elders hobble along dirt paths to get to the local temple. As we arrive at the village, I spot one little girl standing by a stone wall. I lean down and look directly into her eyes. She is barely Charlotte’s age. I see that her nose is congested with green mucus, and her cheeks are flushed with temperature. I confirm this by placing the back of my hand on her forehead. She is sweating, despite the relatively mild early morning weather. It is then that I wish that I was a doctor, and not a lawyer, or a pharmacist, so that I could somehow make things better.

The village, however, is far from gloomy. I can hear children laughing, woman talking, and men laughing as they go on with their morning activities. The rice paddy fields are full on local workers, cultivating what is their basic daily sustenance. Ducks with little babies wander along the banks of the stream, and the grass surrounding the wooden and tin shack buildings is lush and still wet from the morning dew. In amongst hardship, there was beauty.

This is the real Bali. Beauty amongst hardship.

Ubud, Bali - the Art and Soul of Indonesia

It is going to take me, quite literally, weeks to get through the sheer amount of photos that I took this weekend in Ubud, Bali. Did I go ridiculously silly with the camera? Not so much. Rather, I just found myself captivated by the fun, the freedom and the colour that is Ubud.

I have just flown in from Bali at, after a 4.30am start to photograph the sunrise as it rose over a set of volcanoes, admittedly, I am feeling a little worse for wear. However, I just wanted to get on the blog and say that I am back safe, and for you all to hold on tight just for a bit. I will try and process them as quickly as I can, but I want to take extra care at doing them because it is only then that I can truly do justice to the wonder that is Bali.

Bizzy. Busy. Beezy.

Gosh, I have been so busy this week. Firstly, I have had to actually work hard (who would have thought - i actually have a real job that needs doing in order to pay for this crazy international travel!). That has consumed a lot of mental energy so its been hard in the afternoons to sit down and commit the time and attention to blogging!

Also, I am moving house - waaayhay! I have a goooorgeous little one bedroom apartment all to my very self, with beautiful modern decor, a swimming pool, a little green patch of grass on top of the building and.... a cleaner each day!

Then M and I are still busily preparing our exotic trip over to Europe, which is now beginning to take shape. London, Prague and Venice. We've decided to drop the idea of squeezing in another city because we want to actually have a break as opposed to a quick dash across the world. M is very excited to be heading back to his stomping ground and is excited to be taking me along with him. I tried to convince him last night to take me up to Edinburgh to see my hometown back in 2007 (pleeeease? can we? pleeeease?) but admittedly it was going to be too much of a push for time. Boo. Prague, Venice and London will just have to do then!

Things are going really well. I am beginning to drop the pounds (finally) care of this detox program that i have been on (I'm on Day 10 of 15) and I have noticed that I am feeling a whole lot more energetic in the mornings, WITHOUT COFFEE. Yes, I have been without coffee for 10 days!!!! Unbelievable, I know.

I also took out the bike on Monday, which I thoroughly enjoyed. I would take her out again this weekend but....

I'm off to Bali, Indonesia!!!!

Yes, its another photography group session, where we are off to Ubud in Bali to photograph a festival of some sort (Indonesian New Years?).... hmmm... not quite sure. Either way, it means more photography for you to see.

Anyway, must dash.

KOTB

Landscapes.

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Setting Up for the Shot

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Matchsticks

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Pengarang at Sunset....

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Its Primary Industry - Fishing

below: poor baby shark caught - the Chinese LOVE shark

below: The remains of an old wooden jetty.

below: sleeping with one eye open.

below: the Fish trade

below: old broken boats laying on the beach

below: tangled fishing nets.

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Tip

If you want to get a better quality look at my photos, click on them. I've noticed lately that my photos are a lot duller in colour and sharpness than everyone else's and I suspect that uploading photos onto this blogger does it (I think). If you click on the photos, you get a larger picture and you can see them in more detail.

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Textures and Patterns in Pengerang, Malaysia

below: Just as the sun was setting, it cast a beautiful glow onto the sandstone rocks.

below: rusty fences in the shipping yard.

below: ripples in the sand...

below: learning the ropes....




below: the texture of the paint on the fishing boats...

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Rusty Old Village of Rengit

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The one thing I find really interesting about travelling now with photographers (I've never been around other photographers before) is that we each have our own "style" and our own interests. Some of the travellers loved taking photos of the sunrise and sunset, and of course those lovely nature shots, whereas I found it far more interesting (as always) looking at textures and patterns and repetitive shapes. I dont know why it is - maybe our eyes are adapted to finding certain things. When people are shooting lovely beach shots, you will usually find me clambering around an old beach shed, looking for different textures of wood and tin.... strange, i know.

below: I found an old, deserted petrol station near the fishing village

below: Che, standing by an old rusty shed.... look at the different colours of the wood!

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below: the old, unused service station again.

below: Watching paint peel... literally.

below: Closed for business.

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Below: only road out of town.

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The Local Children of Rengit, Malaysia

Below: taking the front seat.

Below: Total innocence

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Below: "I'm bad, real bad."

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There appeared to be an abundance of children in this Kampong ("village").

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Lobsters Galore!

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Rengit is home to the famous Sungei Rengit Lobsters, and we decided to pack up our tripods and cameras and head over there for the weekend to see what kind of photographic opportunities we could find.

You can see the map of distance between Changi (See Bedok) to Kota Tinggi (Rengit) here. I am yet to learn how to actually embed the map into the page itself, so for the time being, you have to go to the external page.

Thankfully the Lobsters taste nicer than they look!

Scary looking things when they are close up!

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G-l-a-m-o-r-o-u-s

I had to laugh at M this morning when he described my travels around Asia as "glamorous". As I sit on a concrete floor, having waited 2 hours for a fishing boat to take me to a village somewhere in South Malaysia, I can't help but think that there is NOTHING glamorous about travelling Asia. Your clothes stick to you due to the humidity, you drink from vending machines that contain random artificial fruit juices, you are shoved in between 300 other Asians, and there is simply no method to their organisational madness. This particular jetty has 13 boats each round, and whoever can put their passports on the desk. In a pile of 13, gets on the boat the fastest. As a group of 7, we literally have to sit and wait to be put in a pile of 13, and then wait for the next boat (which can be anything over 2 hours or more each round). This isn't glamorous. Sure, its adventurous but there is no glamour!

The World... and Me.

Well, so much is happening at the moment.

Yes, I am still on detox. Its Day 6. Admittedly, i had a wee little meltdown last night and consumed a couple of sugary things. Ho hum. Its been six days, give the kid a break! I am not too overly worried about it because I have been so strict on myself otherwise. No cheating with meals, no cheating with coffees. Just a couple of things yesterday. Whoops.

Today, I am off on an overnight sojourn to Malaysia to shoot lobsters. No, not with a rifle. With a camera. Yes, I am going away with my little photography group (ie. Carli & Co) to some lobster fishing town. Carli thinks it will be good photography and seeing Carli is a good photographer, I judge her idea of "good photography" far better than i judge my own. I still feel huge camera envy with them all, but I do realise that these things take time....

Onto very exciting news - the Boy is taking me to London and then Prague and Vienna for New Years. Awwww! Isn't he just wonderful! The international man of mystery is truly becoming international and is taking me to foreign destinations. More on that a little later as plans begin to take shape. Needless to say, KateOnTheBike is very very excited to finally go back to Europe.

Right. Off to shoot shellfish.

So long, all.

KateOnTheBike

International Man of Mystery

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The Boy and I in Bronte.

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Stunning Bronte....

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Happy to Be Home

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This was me at Bronte Beach, Sydney.

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The Wee Little One.... Ella...

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As adorable as ever.....

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